day 2

I made it through day one slowly.  Working up to 3 drops of MMS every two hours. Every hour was so time consuming, it was like I was sitting and watching the clock.  I would rather take it a little slower than to be a slave to the clock.  I had to stop at the 3 drops as I started to get the diarrhea part.  YEAH!!!  but in reality it is a good thing, it means that my body is flushing out the toxins that this is killing off.  I will stay at 3 drops today and try to increase it tomorrow again. 

What have I noticed?  well, in the afternoon yesterday as I was taking the MMS, I got a very warm almost hot feeling that covered my chest area. I don't know what this means, but it happened 3 different times.  I also noticed that last night I got 6 hours of good sleep.  My legs didn't cramp up and I didn't wake up with an 'attack' like I have every night for the last couple of weeks.  For me this is huge. 

It made a big difference using the freshly made juice each time, I just keep my juicer set up and throw in an apple and a few grapes to make the juice.  No citrus fruit can be used as it neutralizes the effects of the MMS.  With the juice added it doesn't taste too bad, actually at this point you really can't taste the MMS unless for some reason you have it on the edge of the glass, which I did and I have to say that that taste is like the worst think I have put in my mouth.  knowing it won't hurt me I just chugged the juice quickly. 

Let see what happens today, will be staying at 3 drops all day.

MMS

I have started to try a natural way to treat/heal myself.  I have done alot of research on this and it can't hurt.  This MMS is not claimed to be a cure all, but had been medically proven to cure many diseases including all kinds of cancers, HIV/AIDS, any virus, bacteria, mold and yeast.  Even with all the research I am still a little leary about the claims of curing cancers and Aids.  I am not saying that it can't, but don't want to sit here and tell you that it will. 

For me, I am willing to give this a try to see what happens, what is the worse that can happen, it may not work? I got my first shipment yesterday and was excited about trying it.  As the directions stated, I mixed everything together and was read to get started. The biggest kicker with this is that you have to mix it with juice that does not have vitiamn C added as that kills the effectivness of it.  I didn't have anything yesterday except for the crystal lite drink mix I had to put in water bottles.  So I went ahead and tried it, I didn't get any big WHAM's except for the taste. You work yourself up by adding one drop at a time each hour until you start to feel nauses.  I know that doesn't sound like fun, but that means that the MMS is killing off toxins in the body and it is needing to get rid of them.  When this happens you are to step back and reduce by one drop and then try it again the next day by adding a drop.  It sounds like it could be complicated but it really isn't. 

Today, I am going to try to make my own apple juice and see if that makes a difference. Call me crazy, but I am trying.  I don't know if this will help with anything, but giving it a try will be the only way I will know.  I will be keeping a detailed journal of this little journey.  My prayer is that it will work for something, if nothing else to stop the scelerderma from spreading anymore, maybe take care of the infection problems, and stop the migraines.  Although I would like to see a complete healing, I am keeping my guards up.  Tonight I will let you know what happened today. 

Family photos

My amazing family: JoHannah, Chris, Ashley, Rita, Me,

Aidan and Hunter

MeMa with Aidan and Hunter, these boys are the apple

of my eye.

My kids and I

Mirror Mirror on the wall, look at my two

beautiful daughters.

I am so blessed to have such great kids. All who have gone down a path of their choice.  Chris and Jo married this year on June 12th.  Hunter was born Aug 19th 2010, 4 months old in these photos.  Aidan is 4 years old already. Goodness they grow up so fast. 

Ashley, still living in Chicago has been accepted into the Special Education Course of IL. only 20 people every two years are allowed into the program. She is doing great and really enjoys what she is doing.

Rita has graduated from cosmetology school and passed her board exams. At this time she is working at Par Excelance which is a higher end salon. She is amazing at doing hair. 

I am still going on with life as best as I can, even through my days are filled with struggles and pains.  I have had to start seeing the cardiologist because my heart is starting to be effected by this disease (or so the doctor thinks). We have done a scope of the heart (angioplasty) and there is not much blockage to warrant the pain and discomfort that I have.  The doctor was afraid that the disease had hit the heart (since it is a muscle). With this, we don't know for sure where things are going to go.  Whatever happens, I have the Lord in my life and will be held up either way I go. I know that if time is cut short, those left behind may feel the sadness of a loss.  But I will see them again one day, and what a day that will be.

Christ is my savior, what about you? do you have your name in the Lambs book of life?

God's Dominoes

I love watching my grandson play with the dominoes, as he stacks them up into towers and then lines them up to make a train. Then I remember a story that I saw on the television about a school that was raising money for the earthquake relief effort in Haiti.  As part of the fundraiser, the children in the school lined up dominoes all throughout a huge room.  Once they were set, someone touched the first domino.  As the first one fell, it hit the second, the second hit the third, and so on.  I love to watch them fall to see what it looks like.

Through the act of touching just one domino, a chain reaction happened and the result of this chain reaction was to reveal an incredibly beautiful design that was not readily seen until each domino had touched another.  They called the fundraising event “a chain of love.” 

                                                      

I thought the way the falling dominoes created a design was pretty cool.  I’m always impressed with someone who has the vision to be able to see an end result, take a pile of raw materials, and turn them into a work of art. Just at that moment, I felt like I was nudged on the shoulder by God.  I had a feeling He was trying to tell me something. 

“We are His dominoes…”

I started to think about these words and after a few minutes I suddenly realized what they meant: God had created a “chain of love” as well.  God’s “chain of love” is a love that flows from Him to us and from us to each other.  And, just like those dominoes that the students used to create their masterpiece, we are God’s dominoes that, once we are able to touch each other with God’s love, will reveal a beautiful masterpiece that God has designed.  So now I needed an answer: as one of God’s “dominoes” what is expected of me?

In the Bible, Matthew tells us about the time when an expert of the law questioned Jesus about God’s commandments.  This expert asked Jesus: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"  Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:36-40)

In other words, there are two things Jesus asked of us:  1. Love God.   2. Love each other

It may sound funny but even though these are great words, unless I put these words into action, they are nothing more than words.  How do I do this?  How do I learn to put these words into action?  How do I learn to love the way Jesus wants me to love?

I need to love as God loves.  It will be through this Godly love that I could touch others and help continue God’s “chain of love”.  But before I can love like Him, I need to understand His love.  I need to learn how I could emulate God’s love and touch others with the same love that God has shown and touched me with.  Grab your Bible, now lets see what it says about God’s love for us.

God’s love is unconditional:  To love unconditionally is to love without attaching any strings to that love: to love someone for who and what they are now and to love them without expecting anything in return. God’s love is given to us without any conditions.  He doesn’t say I will love you if you do not sin or I will love you when you praise me more.  If fact, His love is just the opposite.  His love is given to us even though we might be people that might not be deserving of His love.

Romans 5:8 tells us: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

God knew we were sinners.  He didn’t tell us that He would send His Son to us if we stopped sinning.  Rather, He said to us I will send my Son to you BECAUSE we were sinners.  He didn’t place any conditions on sending His Son to save us.  Even after He did send His Son to save us, He didn’t EXPECT us to not be sinners; rather, He knew we would still be sinners.  But for those who want to become closer to Him, He sent His Son to us as a way to Him.  No conditions – just love.

God’s love is eternal:   Psalm 136:1 tells us: “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.”

Can you think of anyone that you have loved or might love forever?  Maybe the closest we get would be our children.  At times, we might get very mad at them and not like what they do but we still love them.  We are willing to forgive them and take them back if they do something wrong.  Isn’t it the same with God?  We are His children and He loves us with the love of a parent for their child.

But, even though we might love our children forever, God’s love still transcends this.  He loved us before we were even born.  He knew who we were and He knew what we were to become long before our parents ever thought about us.  And He will love us long after we are gone from this physical world.  God’s love is forever – it never ends.

God’s love is forgiving:  How many times have we just given up on someone because of something they have done or just who they are?  How many times has someone made you mad and you have written them off and never wanted anything to do with them again?  No matter who we are or what we have done, God loves us so much that He will always be waiting for us to come back to Him.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the parable of the lost sheep in which he asks what would someone do if they had 100 sheep but lost one?  He answers that the shepherd would leave the 99 to find the lost one, and once the lost one is found he joyfully brings it home and celebrates the return of the one sheep with his friends.

Jesus further says, “I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” (Luke 15:7)

If we are lost, God will come looking for us.  If it might seem that we are taking too long getting back to Him, He will wait for us.   If we feel that we might have separated ourselves from Him because of our own actions, He will forgive us: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:19)  We need to learn to be able to forgive as God does.  If God can forgive, why can’t we?

God’s love is immeasurable:  God has so much love for us that there is no way to measure it.  He has made the ultimate sacrifice for us:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” (John 3:16)

No one is asking us to sacrifice our children for each other, but imagine if we could love each other so much that we would be willing to give up anything we had for each other?  

We are told we are created in God’s image.  If this is true, shouldn’t I be able to love like God?  Shouldn’t my love be unconditional, eternal, forgiving, and immeasurable? I don’t know because God’s love is also perfect and I am not perfect.  But I can try. 

What if we all tried to emulate God’s love in these ways?  It could lead to God’s “chain of love” really happening here and now.  Our “chain of love” begins with God and His love for us.  How great is His love for us?  He reached out and sent His Son to us.  Jesus has shown us that there is a “chain of love” which flows from God, through Jesus, to each of us, and then from us to our fellow man.

Sometimes our continuing His “chain of love” has been successful, other times not.  And when it was not, the reason for it not being successful lies directly with us.  Man has rebelled and turned from God more times than we could count; yet, God continually reaches out to us with His love.

The schoolchildren’s dominoes were set up so perfectly that they couldn’t do anything but fall into each other and create the beautiful picture from their chain reaction; however, what would have happened to the schoolchildren’s design if one domino fell out of place?  That domino would have not touched another and the whole chain reaction would have stopped.

God has set us up in a way that guarantees the outcome of our touching each other will create a beautiful design: God’s love doesn’t touch just one person like that first domino did - God’s love reaches out to and touches everyone.  Any one of us has the ability to set off and perpetuate God’s chain reaction.  We need to start and keep God’s “chain of love” moving.  Everyday we need to practice loving like God loves.  We need to learn to love as big as God loves.

Unlike the dominoes set up by the schoolchildren where, until all of the dominoes fell, the design that was revealed to everyone was only known to the person who created the design, we don’t need to wait until the last domino falls to see the result of God’s “chain of love”: Jesus has already revealed to us the potential beauty of His love being lived out through us here on earth. 

So, rather than us being like the dominoes in the schoolchildren’s fundraiser where one domino falls into one other, what if we tried to reach out and touch more than one person?  And, those people, in turn, reached out and touched several other people?  God has lined us up so that an action that any one of us takes could not only affect one person and then another, but multiple people at one time.

If we could learn to truly follow Jesus’ command and try to love each other with the same love that God has shown us, not only would we have a “chain of love”, we might create an “explosion of love.”

Never give up

Good Morning,  This came at the right time for me, thank you Pastor Matt for sharing it with me.

Have you ever given up on an idea, dream, relationship sooner than you knew you were suppose to all because the climb was more exhausting than the exhilaration of the success that waited you at the top of your mountain? I’ve known many people that prior to giving birth to a dream, gave up on the delivery table of opportunity by exiting a marriage, leaving a company pre-maturely, changed churches because of a disagreement, gave up on their kids, etc…all because dreams are easy to dwell on until the reality of the work required to give birth to those dreams come knocking. Nine books into the New Testament, Paul bellows out a reminder that would serve us all well in the labor room of life. “So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit.” [Galatians 6:9 Message]

Almost like the moment of conception, dreams are single-celled organisms that so often don't make it to full-term. Most dreams miscarriage because we give up on them while they are still in the womb of the imagination. But when a God-ordained dream becomes reality, it's like the birth of a baby. Joy unspeakable!

Today, determine that you aren’t going to miscarry another dream that will bring about success in your life with God, your family, your kids, and your fellow man. Quitting has NEVER achieved a single, solitary bit of good in this world and those that make a difference on behalf of the difference maker Himself[Christ], are those that refuse to grow weary and allow the sweat required in the birthing process to overshadow the joy involved in hearing your dream utter it’s first sound. You have greatness within you and I believe with my entire heart you will make a difference because you have the DNA of the greatest leader, greatest mind, greatest heart, and greatest artist to ever walk this people planet…Christ Himself!!

Dear Heavenly Father,  I’ll be the first to admit I’ve given up too early many times in my life, but today that all changes. Show me how to be more faithful to the dreams that you have called me to live out and to be led by the pages of scripture and not the enticing suggestions of my emotions. Birth within me the desire needed to run the race and outlast every temptation to quit. I pray all of this in Jesus’ Name, Amen…

Remember: The difference between dreamers and doers are those that get up from the nap.

Never Giving Up or In,

Driving tired is a deadly choice

Driving tired is a deadly choice

Too much to handle

Today is another day to deal with as a normal day. My hip still didn’t take effect with the injection. For the last couple of days I have been dealing with chest pains, shortness of breath, sore left arm, and a backside that is tender and very bruised. I really do feel like I have been hit by a truck (a couple of times).  Good thing I have the protection of the Lord when I wake up each day. What would it be like without him?

Dad came through his surgery today pretty good. All considering. I don’t think it will hit him for a day or so that he will be so dependent on others for a while. Thank you for your prayers, please continue them as it is going to be a very long process.  They will be transferring him to Mid America next week to start his rehab.  I’ll be there as much as I can for him. He called me tonight and seemed to be doing ok; I know the pain meds were helping him this time.  Paula said that his attitude and spirits were very good before and after the surgery, which is a blessing.

I talked to mom today and they found a lump in grandmas breast. She had a mastectomy 2 years ago, and will be having the other one removed soon.  We have to wait on the doctors and tests.  Grandma will be turning 90 this December and is still full of spunk.  She isn’t too worried about it and just ready to get the surgery done and over with. Again, please keep her lifted in prayer.

On a good note, I have applied for a service dog.  They said I might get one as soon as next February.  They are working with dogs now and it may be ready in Feb, or the latest of June.  The inmates at the Eldorado correctional facility as well as private homes train these dogs.  Megan said that they use the inmates more than anything. It is great programs for them and the inmates have strict qualifications in order to work with the dogs.  There is a cost involved with this program, and I am praying that one of the several grants that they told me about will be able to help out.  I am once again laying it in the Lords hands for the funds to come in.  Someone laughed at me today and said that I am asking too much of God.  Well, let me tell you that there is NOTHING too big for Him.  The $58 we have left for the trip and treatment in China, nope, not too big.  The $2500 for a service dog, again, not too big for Him. 

I know what the word says about prayers, and I am standing on His word.  The Lord has NEVER lead me astray, even though I have wondered off the path he has set out for me several times.  He still loves me and wants the best for me.  It is up to me to get back on the right path.  Psalms 23: reminds me that as I walk through the valleys….  Did you get that…? I’m going through the valley, not hanging out there.  So all of this to shall pass in time. 

One of my little CB friends is have major surgery tomorrow, they are replacing his skull. You heard it right, they will be giving Matthew a new cranium that was totally destroyed in the accident in August. He is becoming aware of some of his surroundings, I wonder if it understands that his momma didn’t make it through the accident, or understands anything that is going on with him.  I know he is feeling trapped in a body that will not respond.  I can’t imagine what he must be thinking or feeling.  Please keep this extremely brave little one in your prayers as he continues to be so brave while enduring so much.  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/peterandmatthewslattery.

Things have really been emotionally rough, and I am dealing with many things left out on here. I am trying to get through each day with a positive attitude and try to stay encouraged, but some days are hard and others are harder than those. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to get through each day as it comes. I couldn’t do it without you, nor would I want to even try. Thank your for wrapping your loving arms around me when I need it and have no one else to turn to at the time. 

Lord, I have a few things to talk about though.  Just how much more do I have to endure?  I can’t keep doing this; it is just getting to be too much for me.  I try to stay strong and upbeat, but that is so hard at times.  I feel so weak and helpless tonight.  What do I need to do to make it all stop and go away?  Lord, your word says that you will not give me more than I can handle. OK, I AM THERE!!!  I hope you are listening to me tonight Lord; I just can’t take anymore! I am at my breaking point.  I am so tired of the pain, the inability to move, the loneliness, the struggles, a hurting heart, and the feelings of rejection.  I just want to feel normal, whatever that is.  Is it too much to want to be able to move around freely? To be without pain? To be able to breath without difficulty? To feel wanted, needed, or appreciated?  Is it too much to ask that all these dreams I have every night about death to go away and be replaced with visions of sugarplums or something like that? Is it too much to ask that I wake up in the morning and feel refreshed and rested?  Is it too much to want to just sleep comfortably and for more than an hour at a time? 

Lord, is all of this just too much to ask for?